Sometimes It Storms

June 22, 2015

Sometimes It Storms

June 22, 2015

 

life-storm

Sometimes we go through hard stuff. Sometimes it is only somewhat hard and doesn’t last long other times it is terribly hard and lasts a good long time. Like the difference between a sprinkle and a major thunderstorm with lightening, thunder, wind and hail. One of those storms at sea where the pirates tie themselves to the ships mast or risk being tossed over board.

BIG storms.

Of course no one wants to go through the big storms but it is just part of life. The price we pay for all of the amazing sun shiny days we enjoy in this life is having to weather the storms now and then.

Here is the thing though, that whole dancing in the rain thing. Yeah, sometimes that works but sometimes it doesn’t. If you are weathering out a major storm it isn’t any help to try to push yourself to be happy and think positive. Sometimes you just have to sit down and let the storm take over. Get the candles ready in case the power goes out and just ride it out.

I’ve been told many times that I have handled this breast cancer thing with courage and laughter and a couple of people have said that I’m an inspiration. At first, comments like that made me feel like I couldn’t have a melt down. Like I would be letting people down if I had a bad day.

But, let me tell you, I have sat in that storm and cried my eyes out. I’ve been afraid my roof would fly off or my little house would slide off its place on the hill. And I’m OK with that. There have been days during the breast cancer storm where I just stayed in bed because that was the safest place to be. And that’s OK too.

I quickly gave up feeling bad because I couldn’t be a ray of sunshine every day.

Sometimes it storms. It just does. And there is nothing you can do about it.

Sometimes the sky opens and the rain comes down in buckets. Sometimes the storm causes the basement to flood or it tears off half of your favorite apple tree (both have happened here).

But there is no way I’m going to stand in the storm and say, “Hey, let’s go out and dance in the rain,” while the hail is pounding the ground and the half dead tree in the front yard threatens to come crashing through the roof at any minute.

Sometimes it storms. Let it.

It doesn’t make me less courageous or make my positive attitude fly off to the next county with the trash can lid permanently because I sat in the storm. It doesn’t make me any less brave, any less of a survivor. What it does is help me face my fear, the uncertainty of what I’m dealing with and face the storm head on. It helps me process the craziness of the storm that is wrecking havoc in my world.

Do you understand what I’m saying?

I’m saying sometimes you feel sad. And it’s OK.

While it is hard to sit with a friend who is feeling sad and dealing with their own storm, it won’t help them if you constantly telling them to “think positive” or “it will be all right”.

I’m saying that we should all stop telling ourselves (and our friends and families) that we shouldn’t feel what we feel or that what we’re FEELING is wrong. Bring some candles and sit the storm out with your friend. She will love you always for it.

I’m saying sometimes it storms, and it sucks and that’s OK.

Feel what you feel, process the information, grieve, work it out. And only then should you pop open that umbrella and head outside.

I’m saying that the sun will come out again.

And you will enjoy jumping in the mud puddles when it does.

 

PS. If the storm lasts too long or you find yourself hiding under the bed unable to come out again be sure to find someone who can help you cope. Some storms are just too big to handle alone. And THAT is OK too.

Vicki O'Dell

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  • Angie @ CCC June 24, 2015 at 6:49 am

    Love you bunches hun. 🙂

    • Vicki O'Dell June 24, 2015 at 4:46 pm

      I love you too Angie!!

  • Cory June 22, 2015 at 11:56 pm

    Vicki,
    I have thought of you so many times today, I knew it would be stressful. Just read your blog as I’m falling asleep tonight. You write and express yourself so beautifully. Sharing your feelings in your special way is such a gift to all of us. So happy to be a new friend. I’m here whenever you need me.
    Cory

    • Vicki O'Dell June 23, 2015 at 1:34 pm

      Thanks Cory. I’m still waiting for results. These people are killin’ me. (I’m not a patient with patience) 🙂
      Thank you fro the compliment. I’m so glad we met.

      xoxo V

  • mlsjewel June 22, 2015 at 8:36 pm

    Thanks for ‘your thoughts’!!!! My storm has been going one for the last 4 months, with more storm then sun, but the sun will come out in the end. Hugs.

    • Vicki O'Dell June 23, 2015 at 1:34 pm

      Just keep watching for that sun mlsjewel. It’s there somewhere. ♥

  • Karen June 22, 2015 at 6:25 pm

    Thank you,,,,,,,this is exactly what I needed to read tonight. I am going through a very difficult time right now and my natural bend is to judge myself harshly for not handling it “better”….what ever that means.
    I so appreciate your insight, compassion, kindness, and gentleness.
    K

    • Vicki O'Dell June 22, 2015 at 6:47 pm

      Hi Karen,
      I’m sorry you are going through a hard time. It sucks.
      I hope it ends quickly and the sun again shines brightly.
      Until then take good care of yourself.
      xoxo V

  • Carol June 22, 2015 at 4:30 pm

    I am so happy that you posted this. This is a hard but so important place to come to. I want you to know that it is hard for me to hear about your “storms”. I so wish it were smooth sailing. I have no experience to compare to it, but I know if I ever do, there are folks like you in my life who have lovingly shown me how. Even the part that’s not always “pretty”. I believe that it’s ok to hunker down and even break – it feels ok for everyone else… Just hope I have the courage to do it if/when the storm comes into my life. With all my best wishes, C.

    • Vicki O'Dell June 22, 2015 at 6:49 pm

      Hi Carol,
      I think much can be learned in the middle of the darkest storms.
      I’ve never had anyone close to me experience cancer but as soon as I was diagnosed I had a team of supporters and it made all of the difference.
      I’m always here for ya!
      xoxo Vicki

  • drgnfli2 June 22, 2015 at 9:51 am

    I love this. Thank you for writing it and posting it.

    • Vicki O'Dell June 22, 2015 at 11:49 am

      Thank you for reading and commenting drgnfli2. It’s nice to know I’m not out here talking to myself. 🙂

  • Stephanie June 22, 2015 at 9:43 am

    Vicki, thank you for your honesty. You are even more of an inspiration. You are still in my thoughts and I hope sunny days are ahead.

    • Vicki O'Dell June 22, 2015 at 11:51 am

      Stephanie, sunny days are definitely ahead and I’m getting my sunscreen ready. 🙂

      XOXO V

  • Caroline June 22, 2015 at 7:05 am

    I’m grieving for my cat. And I feel stupid and pathetic for it.

    There. I owned up to it. I keep thinking I shouldn’t be feeling so very low over “just a cat”, but beyond being a companion that all pets are, she sensed my mood, comforted me and made sure she got what she wanted when she wanted it. On the days I needed to hide in bed she would very gently remind me, then a bit more forcibly shove me downstairs to feed her. I think she checked for monsters so I wouldn’t get ambushed!

    We have another cat. She found him, shared her space, trained him to be quirky and cantankerous and I’m not angry at him any more for not being her. That was difficult.

    Which is a roundabout way of bringing my candle and sitting with you, saying “me too”.

    I like dancing in the rain and splashing in muddy puddles. But going out in a thunderstorm with an umbrella up is just plain daft.

    And while I realise that you were possibly thinking this blog post over for a while, it is still inspirational to someone. Every time one of us says something, anything, about the truth of cancer or depression or whatever, we are proving that everyone else has permission to talk about it too. It almost doesn’t matter exactly what we say, except as we need to express ourselves. Someone, somewhere, will hear what they need.

    • Vicki O'Dell June 22, 2015 at 11:53 am

      Oh, Caroline.
      My heart breaks for you. Grief is grief. It really doesn’t matter who or what you are grieving for. It hurts all the same.
      Be extra gentle with yourself, sit with it and feel the feels. It’s the only way to wait out the storm.
      I’m here with you, I’ve got tissue, candles and gentle hugs.
      Take care of you.
      Xoxo
      V

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