My personal space is in my bedroom. This cozy, comfy room has been a key in keeping my marriage going. And no, I’m not talking about “hanky panky” here.
When W and I first got married we became an instant family, a “blended” family. We had four children (ages 6-12) between us and we all moved into what is essentially a two bedroom house. He used to say we had, “10 pounds of potatoes in a 5 pound bag”.
Parenting is hard. Step-parenting is WAY beyond hard. The hardest thing, in some ways, that either of us has EVER done.
I LOVE our little cottage home but at 1700 square feet it’s small for 6 people. Six wildly different people.
All of the kids lived with us, the boys full-time and the girl at least half of the time. And we were newly weds. It was wonderful and extremely stressful all at the same time.
Lucky for us, all of the kids went to the ex’s every other weekend. We managed to sync it up 90% of the time so that holidays, weekends and vacations found us alone for part of the time. Just the two of us.
But every once in a while a “situation” would arise when the kids were around and this room is where we would shut ourselves away for a little while to sort things out. So in the very beginning this became MY and OUR personal space.
The kids knew it was our space & quickly got into the habit of knocking before entering & not coming into our room without permission. They respected our privacy and we respected theirs.
It’s not a fancy room, as you can see, but it does have some family artwork, my own wall treatment on the wall, thrifted and vintage finds, a 100+ year old rocker from my dads side of the family and lots of little touches that comfort and soothe me/us.
When I’m sick, this is my space to recover. This room has seen me through a hysterectomy, a few bouts of pneumonia and other times of illness. It’s the only time we’ve allowed a television in the room. It’s just a “rule” we set up in the beginning. No TV.
When I’m sad I go here to cry. Just last night I got all weepy about the last of the kids wanting to do something that seemed very “grown up”
and that sense of loss that comes from an emptying nest became too much to handle. I curled up in my comfy bed and let the tears flow for a little while. And I felt better.
This is OUR place when we have something important to discuss, when we are daydreaming together about the future or reminiscing about the past. Our place to unwind, relax and just BE.
It’s hard to tell where we would be now if we didn’t have this little hide away. A lot of hurt feelings were smoothed over here, tears shed and laughs shared. Out of all of the elements that make up this marriage and this family I think this personal space has carried us through some of the toughest times. Besides, sheer stubbornness and determination that is.
It’s important to have personal space. Space for you, your thinks, your cries and your thoughts. What room in your home do you consider your personal space? Do you have rules that govern your space? What are they?
Here are some other posts I’ve written about my room:
Just for fun I created a board on Pinterest for Beds and Bedrooms – feel free to add some of your favorites!