We have ceremonies or rituals for most of the big passages in life. First birthdays, 16th birthdays, graduations, wedding showers, baby showers, weddings, christening or baptism, and funerals.
But there are some life passages that totally get left out when it comes to ceremonies or rituals.
Ceremony and ritual are used interchangeably here. You call it what you want – they are basically the same.
Shouldn’t there be some kind of ceremony to pronounce you DIVORCED? It doesn’t have to include your former spouse. Maybe just you and a few girlfriends who go away for a weekend and make up a ceremony that helps you settle into your new place in life.
Becoming a Widow
Could there be a ceremony a few months after the funeral that helps you bring friends together to acknowledge your grief and loss while helping you find a way to move forward?
You’ve done your job well. Is it time for a party now? A full blow-out that would make your grown kids cringe with embarrassment. If they were around, that is.
You are no longer actively raising children, don’t have plans to have any more, and it’s been a long while since you’ve menstruated. Welcome to croonhood, sister! (Some crones may still have kids at home but for the most part we are finished with our child bearing years.)
Most of the rituals in your life are behind you. But maybe they shouldn’t be.
I had an extremely hard time when my oldest son got married. I couldn’t even talk about it in the months leading up to the wedding without crying. SOBBING. I was inconsolable. I knew I was losing a dear friend. He would never again live close by and be able to hang out at a moments notice. I had done my job so well that he was deemed fit to co-habitat with another human. Great job mama!
I also knew it meant I was getting older.
A number earth centered women say that you become a crone one year after your last menstrual cycle. 12 months of no period. But I’d had a complete hysterectomy 15 years prior so I was TOTALLY good to go there.
I’d also beat cancer while helping my husband deal with his own cancer. And then my last child left home and moved a thousand miles away. And, as I mentioned earlier, my oldest was getting married.
I was an emotional wreck and not at all ready for the next phase!
So I made a few phone calls to women friends and we planned a get-together and a ritual.
Every woman brought a few flowers for a crown, food, and a small gift we tied to a tree. There were tender moments, some singing, wine, a bonfire and a whole lot of love.
That was nearly 2 years ago.
I still have my moments where I fight against my current place in life but that evening of friends and ritual sure did help me though the few months that followed.
Tell me, if you could have a ritual to help you with something you are dealing with, what would it look like?
I’m a crone and I have the bumper sticker to prove it.