Today is my one year anniversary, or as I’m calling it – My Boobiversary. It was a year ago today that my surgeon, who was sure he was removing a benign lump called to say, “I’m sorry, but it IS cancer.”
One year since I heard those scary words. Breast Cancer.
- I had another surgery to remove more tissue to make sure there was a clear margin
- I got a terrible infection
- 33 Radiation treatments
- Another infection
- Assorted viruses and infections to follow until my immune system was able to keep up again
- Fatigue like I’ve never known
It is impossible to list all of the changes I’ve undergone in this year but here are a few.
- I have less F**KS to give for minor things… and MOST of them are minor things
- I treasure my life and my body more than I ever have before
- I appreciate, respect and love my husband more than I ever thought possible
- My kids are more than my kids – they are my friends, my caregivers, my crutches
- I’m more calm and relaxed – except when I’m wildly happy
- I judge less and love more
- I’m determined to live my life the way I want to – I could care less about what other people think
- I’m more apt to just be my loud bawdy self and not hold back – if folks don’t like it, well, that’s none of my business
- I feel FREE
- I’ve gotten rid of huge heaps of guilt, shame, self consciousness, and many other useless feelings
In some ways the year went by fast and in others it crawled. I will never be one of those people who say they are glad they got cancer because it changed their lives so greatly but I AM glad my life is different.
My heart is so full of gratitude some days that it is hard to speak.
Not IMPOSSIBLE to speak. I have yet to find a time when I CAN’T speak.
I’m amazed by clouds, people, puppies, grass, tomatoes and all sorts of things I didn’t give a second thought to before.
I’m thankful for so many things. Including my friends here on this blog.
So thankful for the messages of love and support that got me through.
So thankful for those of you who have traveled this path who told me I would be OK.