Things Women Over 50 Know
As I left work one night I walked out the door of the building with another woman. We said our goodbyes and she promptly got in her car and left.
It took me a couple of minutes to load all of my art gear and get in my car. I had taught a painting class that night so I had a lot of supplies to load.
I wasn’t afraid, in the dark, in a neighborhood that isn’t exactly safe, but maybe I should have been.
Then it occurred to me that if I were in that situation with another woman over 50 she would have hung around to make sure I got on the road without incident. We just know these things. We do these things.
You never know when a car won’t start or some stranger will approach with what seems like a benign question that ends up being something else entirely.
And I HAVE been stopped and asked questions in that neighborhood. And I’m not gonna lie – it made me a little uncomfortable.
Anyway, I thought I’d share a few unspoken rules that many woman over 50 know. Just in case you don’t know.
5 Things You Should Never Let Women Do
1. Never let a lone woman walk out into a dark parking lot or garage alone. It’s always better if at least two of you can leave the building at the same time. The more of you there are, the better.
You know, the buddy system works just as well as adults as it did when we were kids.
2. Never leave the area until everyone is in their cars and the cars are running. If someone has to remove snow, or run back in to grab their lunch box (experiences I have personally had). You wait. Sure, it can be inconvenient but I’d prefer that over the guilt I would feel if one of my co-workers were hurt because I was in a hurry.
3. If you drop a co-worker or friend off at her apartment wait until you get a signal that she is in her apartment safe and sound. Whether it is a flash of the lights or a text. Never leave her safety up to chance. I personally know two women who were raped in the stairwell of their own apartment buildings.
4. Don’t let her go out unprepared. Where are your keys? Where are you parked? Ask if she is OK to drive if you’ve been out having fun. Where are you going from here? Encourage your friends to carry flashlights, pepper spray or wear a whistle if you are traveling in an area that is at all questionable. Follow her home if you are really worried. She will thank you tomorrow.
5. Don’t ignore her concerns. If she expresses fear or hesitance don’t ignore her or blow it off. She’s listening to her gut. Maybe you should both/all listen to her gut too. In this case you can call on some outside help. See if a security guard or police officer is available. Call a brother, husband or friend to walk with you.
Always trust your instincts!
Hey, listen, I’m not telling you that knowing some self defense or being confident in your ability to take care of yourself is a bad thing. But eventually every warrior meets an adversary they can’t overcome.
Also, in spite of everything I still believe that 99.9% of the people in the world are kind and caring and trying to do the right thing.
But it only takes one rotten apple to change your life.
Be safe. Look out for one another. Choose love. Always.