My friend wrote a book Fifty and Other F-Words. And I’m not gonna lie, I literally laughed out loud in several places. Also, I found myself shaking my head in agreement pretty often.
While I know Margot Potter in real life and have seen her go through Hades from this side of the computer screen for the past few years I also know first hand what it’s like to
walk crawl through Hades and come out the other side. In fact, she interviewed me as part of her book launch (Read the interview here) and that was one of the things we talked about.
At first I struggled with the layout of the book but once I got it in my head that it is simply a series of essays I really got into it. I’m not sure why that slowed me down or why it was even an issue, but hey, if we knew WHY have the stuff in my brain happens it would be a miraculous thing.
Over 50 and Heartbroken
While Margot is funny about some of the things we women over 50 deal with she also is great at verbalizing, or writing, the things in my heart. Things I don’t always have words for.
In writing about the years she had her daughter at home and thinking of time she may have not spent so wisely she says,
I’ve battled the demons of regret. I did my best, after all, and that’s pretty much all any of us can do. I’ve decided to cut myself some slack.
Me too, Margot, me too.
We also came to a similar conclusion in the essay “Empty Nest Syndrome or the Home Goods Problem.” I came to a point where I realized I couldn’t keep buying things to fill that big old empty hole in my heart. Both my credit card and my husband disapproved of that plan. Also, it didn’t make me feel any better at all.
At some point you have to fill up the empty spaces with new experiences, not new stuff.
Part of the book that was wildly bizarre to me was when she talked of her girly things. Botox? Shoes? Glamour? Beauty?
Does. Not. Compute. Not for this tomboy.
All the same, it was fascinating to me. To see aging from a more feminine perspective. I believed my family when they said I was ugly and too masculine. Not a beauty. Not even cute.
I just went with it. And while I sometimes have felt like I missed out on some of the finer points of being a “lady” it’s worked out for me for the most part.
I mean, hey. I have NEVER felt the need to wax any part of my body. I can handle missing out on that.
Also, painful shoes? How can you climb trees or work in the garden in heels? No thank you!
Maybe some of the finer points of putting on makeup would help though. Or learning earlier about sunscreen and moisturizer.
Fifty and Other F-Words
Anyway, if you are nearing the big FIVE-OH you’ll want to have this one on hand. It’s kind of like the beginners manual for the great sisterhood of those who have been there, done that, and used the T-shirt to wipe away under boob sweat.