I woke up this morning in a sort of dingy hotel room in Kansas City, Kansas. I have to remind myself that next time we go on a business trip not to let my husband make the hotel reservations. It’s not gross but it’s not nice either. Unfortunately, we can’t afford to move. So we manage.
We’re in Kansas City for a religious conference.
Organized religion scares the crap out of me. All of them. The Muslim, the Buddhist, the Christian, the Jewish, the Pagan, and even this super liberal Unitarian Universalist religion scares me a bit.
If you can think of an abuse heaped upon a woman due to religion I think I’ve experienced it. Brain washing, shaming, guilt, emotional, physical and psychological abuse.
“Why won’t you tow the line?”
“Why can’t you be like so-and-so’s wife?”
“Questions like that are not worthy of you.”
“Because this is how you SHOULD do things.”
“You make a lousy ______.”
Warren is the one who attends our church not me so much, because organized religion scares the crap out of me. I say I don’t go very often because our Minister isn’t very dynamic. He’s white and male and has Christian leanings. His sermons are rather lackluster, and of all of the religions, Christianity scares me the most. Especially in light of the way our world is right now. But that is really just a way to excuse my fear and not have to push through it.
Because the truth of it is, organized religion of scares the crap out of me. So attending this conference as part of his business makes me really uncomfortable. Even though it is “our church.”
It’s not that this super liberal religion tells me what to think, or what to read, I can do anything I want. I can think anything I want. I can ask ALL of the questions and no one has ever tried to make me feel inferior.
But it still scares me.
It’s religion. And it’s pretty well organized.
But in the end, we do good work here. So sometimes I sit with being very uncomfortable, I lean into those thoughts and feelings that make me feel uncomfortable, and other times I go out and sit in the van on the loading dock and listen to the pigeons.
Pigeons don’t scare the crap out of me. My rabbits, Quail, dogs, and cat, don’t scare the crap out of me. Nature is my church, animals are the beings I go to church with. I’m comfortable around animals and nature and sunshine and rain.
How do I reconcile wanting to do good as part of a larger community and be my best self, with the fact that religion scares the crap out of me? I’ve sat in on many services and lectures here and I’m becoming more comfortable. It’s not the religion so much as the community that I enjoy.
Smart caring people who are trying to make the world better. Trying to end racism, injustice and hate. And while UU’s have a core set of beliefs, however you practice or worship, is entirely up to you.
So I sit with my discomfort around religion and learn things like living on the earth without doing further damage, peaceful resistance, and inclusion. Simply because, in my mind, it is the right thing to do.
Who knew there was a place for rebels among organized religions?
Amen, sister! Organized religion, and the people who not only practice it but want to cram their views down our throats, scare me too. I have some lovely Christian friends but they don’t preach to me (although we can have some wonderful discussions) and they follow the true teachings of their God… they are often more liberal than I am.
It is unfortunate that the writer here has had some bad and disappointing experiences. When Jesus Christ established the message of God’s word, he intended it to be taught purely as it had been taught by him, as was given to him from the Holy Father. Time and time again, human kind strays from the true word and teachings of the Father, and this brings confusion and uncertainty about God, who he is, and what he wants for us. Rest assured, that there is a loving God who created all things for his pleasure and purpose and he shares his wonderful blessings with us. Nothing is more precious than the gift of life itself. We see evidence of the creator in everything that has been created, from all the beautiful color hues on a single flower petal, to all of the variety of plants and animals, the stars and planets, the beautiful waterfalls, and the glorious sunrise’s and sunset’s. God is good and he wants good for us. He wants us to be happy and he knows the best way to be happy is to live according to his teachings. He doesn’t just make a bunch of rules to follow. His words and teachings are health to the bones, and a better way to live with less stress and strife. His words and teachings pave the way to salvation through his son Jesus Christ, for without his forgiveness and grace, and his incredible mercy and compassion we do not rise from the grave. Who wants to be in the grave? I want life and light. I don’t want darkness I want to be free to be me and to do things and enjoy existence beyond a stone cold tomb. Join me, in worshiping the one true living God, who gives life to all who asks for forgiveness through his son Jesus Christ. For looking to and acknowledging God is about a relationship with him – a friendship, a family who will always be true. God isn’t a religion. He is a living being, who is just as real as you are. He wants to be your friend and for you to be his. Let us praise him! Study his word so you will not be deceived by those who teach falsely. For Jesus Christ, never put down women at any time, but brought hope and salvation from sin and the grave to women too. For all of us, man or woman have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. In Heaven there is no gender. We are all God’s children and he loves us all.
Sheila,
Thanks for the well thought out reply. I am the owner and sole contributor to this site. Just so you know, I have read the Bible 3 times through and have also read the most important books of a number of religions. While there are some lovely stories in such books I believe they are just that – stories. But you do you and I’ll respect your opinion.
xoxo
Ah, but the bible is the “living word” of God and if you study it well and throughout your life it will continue to open your eyes to new understandings. The bible is not a fiction book you can read from front and back and then you are done. There are numerous teachings and a great deal of wisdom, as well as prophecy to learn. Don’t quit studying it. It is not a novel
I never cease to learn new things or to see important connections from one part to the other. Don’t close your heart, mind, and soul. Even if you don’t want to believe the bible, do believe in the Holy Creator by looking around and seeing all of his beautiful creation. For neither we nor the earth is here by “coincidence”, a chemical soup, or a cosmic explosion. We are here by purpose and intent. Don’t be discouraged, for the devil deceives us all in many ways, and what I am seeing from you and other posters is a lack of real understanding on the evil of the world in relation to us and God. That would take a much longer discussion. But pray and seek the truth for if you knock on the door, God will answer. May his peace come to you and I pray you will find understanding and hope in his great love. For God will never deceive or betray you but mankind will.
I am right there with you. I was raised in a family where my dad a Lutheran religion and my mother in servitude as a result of the teachings. They tried to convert me to it but I stepped away from that at 13. I had to “play along” for survival and as soon as I turned 18…outta there. I took a mythology course in college and let me tell you, religion is a myth. I get ticked when people go after my children telling them they aren’t good people because they don’t attend church. But church went from a very strict servitude to a relaxed social Sunday meeting. Would I say I am spiritual —yes but am I religious-no!! Especially with organized religion…so I concur. Abuse, rape, killing, sacrifices, domestic servitude, mental health distraction including not being able to live because of the conflict….all in the name of religion. Nope…
Hi Amy,
Yeah, religion and the rights of women sure seem to live in separate universes.
xox Vicki
Beautiful reflection. L & I have talked about how much more liberal and consistent GA is from the UU church we know. We keep trying to highlight ways that we can be more consistent and live up to those values and policies.