I gave up coloring my hair back in the summer of 2011 (I did a series of videos on my YouTube channel that you can see here). I also stopped cutting the length off and let it grow out.
I love my hair. People comment on it and even reach out to touch it on a regular basis. I’ve had young women tell me they have tried to dye their hair this color and it never turns out. They wonder how I got mine to be this color and are kind of put-out when I tell them it is natural.
I have have gotten the short end of the stick when it came to my body but I got lucky when it came to my hair.
At least I think that now at 48. When I was 30 I wasn’t feeling so much love for all that whiteness.
Anyway, when I found out I had breast cancer and that it is possible that I will have to have chemo I started thinking about donating my hair. I figured that if there was a chance I would lose it all then I would like to do something nice for someone else and give them my hair.
I also figured that if I got lucky and didn’t need to have chemo that I wanted to donate it anyway. Just as an expression of gratitude for my good luck.
So I made the appointment.
I’m not going to lie. I was a bit emotional about it.
For some reason the “I have cancer” bomb really hit me this week and I was super emotional for a few days. Also, growing out that hair has been a 3 year project.
I put on a mostly brave face and kept my appointment.
By the way, four pony tails allow the stylist to capture more hair than one pony tail.
Besides, 4 are just down right sexy, right?
Okay, maybe not.
I always knew the back of my hair was darker (left) but I didn’t realize how much darker.
Eight inches plus a little more cut off into a bob.
This is shorter than I imagined it would be but I was Okay with that. My hair grows fast and I was happy that someone else would get my hair.
That is, until I went to write this post and started doing some research.
My hair was donated to Pantene Beautiful Lengths and I was told they would take my gray/white hair. Turns out… they won’t. According to their Prepare Your Hair page they won’t take hair that is more than 5% gray.
What?!?!
I’m so incredibly bummed. I wouldn’t have gotten my hair cut quite so short if I knew it was going to be tossed in the trash.
Check out this article I found doing some research for this post – Why I will never donate my hair to Locks of Love (or anyone else).
Well, I guess this is what I get for jumping the gun and not doing my research first.
To tell the truth I felt like I was kind of “under the gun” with another upcoming surgery and wanting to donate my hair before I got bogged down with surgeries and treatments. I trusted what I was told rather than doing my own research. That will teach me.
On the UP side – because there is ALWAYS and up side.
- My hair has been cut and won’t need it again for a while if I decide to grow it out again.
- I know more, and now so do you, about donating hair.
- I feel like I still get Karma credit (is there such a thing?) because I did what I did with love and good intentions.
- It was getting a little too long and was becoming a nuisance.
- If I do have to have chemo and my hair starts to fall out maybe it will be less traumatic to have shorter hair, rather than long hair, fall out?
There isn’t much I can do about it now. It’s not like I can sit and paste my hair back together.
I’m not even going to waste my time by being upset about it all. I’m just going to enjoy the cool breezes on the back of my neck and focus on the next step in my cancer journey.
I’ve seen sites that mention a lot of hair isn’t used because it doesn’t meet the requirements listed. It’s not necessarily thrown away though. Don’t get discouraged by one unhappy experience. There are a number of charities that take donations. They have different requirements. Some want the length at 10″, others take 8″. Some will try to used colored hair and some will take gray. Check up see how they help those without hair. Licks if Love charges based in income. Other groups offer free wigs.
I found this post while researching which organization my daughter would use to donate her hair. Locks of Love does not GIVE their hairpieces to many families. They also do not work with cancer patients, since their hair loss is considered temporary.
I think we have settles on Children With Hair Loss for our donation. They take gray hair, too! Might be worth looking into.
http://www.childrenwithhairloss.us/donate-your-hair/
Blessings on your journey.
You may have been able to find a buyer on an independent website, like Ebay, Hairsellon, or somewhere else. Healthy “Virgin” i.e. non-dyed or chemically processed hair of unique colors is especially desirable, and yours is definitely a unique color. One of those websites had a price calculator, and for your hair you might have gotten as much as $200-250 (10 inches of virgin gray hair with a circumference of about 3 inches is estimated to bring in about $220 )
Next time, perhaps you could sell it and donate the money instead of your hair, since most of these hair charities sell the hair for profit anyways rather than making wigs themselves.
Even if they dont take it, its not all about making sure somebody else gets your hair. Its about showing people with cancer that they are not alone and there is no need to be embaressed about losing their hair. Just the sight of seeig people without hair makes them happier.
If you ever consider donating hair again, maybe try Matter of Trust, they use the hair to clean up oil spills, (seriously how wild is that?) so it doesn’t matter what color it is or if it’s damaged or even if it’s human hair! http://matteroftrust.org/?s=hair
Hi Vicki,
I think your gray color hair is just beautiful! As I am interested in Victorian hair work/wreaths and have taught myself the techniques, I am always looking for hair to work with and would LOVE a gray color. So, next time you want to donate, please consider donating to me! BTW, you new hair style is just lovely! 🙂 Julie
Hi Julie,
Thanks for the compliment. I’ve seen the Victorian Hair work in museums, some of it is very intricate. I’ll keep you in mind. 🙂
Aww, Vicky, don’t have remorse. You did what you thought was the right thing to do. It’s a good thing you did cut your hair because the falling out process will be a lot easier. When mine started falling off, I thought I was ready for it, but the day I got in the shower and clumps of hair came off in my hand, I totally lost it!! I had very short hair and still the experience was heart wrenching! I had spots where there was absolutely no hair, and others just tiny wisps. My husband offered to shave my head, but I was not ready yet. Two days later, he lovingly shaved my head and after puttin on some eyebrows and lipstick, I took a picture. I didn’t look that bad after all. My husband kept telling me I had a very sexy bald head LOL. I had colored my hair for about 20 years and wanted to grow it out, but I couldn’t go without touching it up. I was so glad it fell off and didn’t have to go through that messy process of coloring it myself again. Now I have gray hair and I love it!
Thank you for sharing your story Carmen. I have come to realize that if I lose my hair it won’t kill me and it will grow back. I’m just hoping that I won’t have to go that route. 🙂
Oh Vicki, that experience must have been so disheartening. I also have gray hair and last year had let it grow really long like yours and decided to go short. I always regretted not donating my hair but according to your post it would have been an exercise in futility anyway. It’s always good to have one less thing to feel guilty about these days. I was so sorry to hear about your breast cancer diagnosis. I hope that it will give you comfort to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers for a complete recovery.
Thank you Elaine.
I hear ya on the guilt thing. Who needs it?
Well, that sucks big time! I don’t understand why someone wouldn’t want your hair color. If someone had gray/white hair to begin with it’s not like they’re going to want a dark brown wig after chemo. But, I really love do the new hairdo. It looks super cute on you!
I know Pam. I know. But gray hair is harder to dye and it fades quickly. It takes several donations to make one wig and they would have to dye it to make it look uniform. It makes sense but it doesn’t.
As far as I am concerned you TOTALLY get Karma credit! (and even extra credit for awesome hair!) sending hugs! xoxo
Thanks Meryl Ann. I’ll take all the extra credit I can get! 🙂
I believe in Karma points and you have earned yours with love and grace.
Thank you Kate! ♥
I know it is cliche but it was the thought that counts. It was a kind and selfless act. God bless and good luck on this journey.
Thank you Gela.
Well, I didn’t know they wouldn’t take gray hair! How ridiculous! Also very bummed that you are joining the BC club. I hope you don’t have to have chemo, I have to say the most traumatic part of the breast cancer dance for me was losing my hair. And then having the chemo perm when it grew back. It looked like my mom’s tightly permed hair in the ’70’s! So not a look I aspire to! The curl has tamed quite a bit 5 years down the road, but my hair is not the same. According to my hair dresser it is as thick as it used to be but is baby fine. I had coarse, thick hair before and I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss my original hair. Anyway, prayers going out for you to have a gentle bc journey!
Thank you Jody. One of my concerns too is that my hair won’t be the same. Right now it is very fine but I have TONS of it.
I don’t think I’d mind curly hair but that is highly unlikely.
I’m sorry you miss your hair but I hope you have been blessed in other ways.
I’m sorry your donation did not turn out as planned. As someone who lost her hair 2 out of 3 chemos, if you lose your hair, you will be happier with it shorter. You have gorgeous hair, I cannot imagine that someone would not want it. You are a beautiful woman and look great with your new bob. Best of luck to you…prayers heading to you!
Hi Cat,
I’m sorry you’ve had to go through chemo so many times. I can’t imagine.
I hope you are healthy and happy now and will never have to deal with chemo again. ♥
from what ive been told (having not done any research) by my hair dresser friend, they dont take hair that is 5% grey because its difficult to separate the grey from the non grey. she said they DO take hair that is all one colour, like yours. this might just be the one organisation that she goes through though. not sure about Beautiful Lengths.
Hi Marnie,
Yes, and grey hair doesn’t take or hold color well. That is one of the biggest reasons why I stopped coloring it in the first place.
I’ll have to check out other organizations if I grow it out long again.
Oh dear! I’d assumed you’d found someone who would take your lovely hair. I thought some places sell it to help fund their efforts. In any case, your bob looks cute, and even if you don’t lose your hair to the treatment, this will be easier to take care of. Sorry.
Cynthia,
Yes, they may sell it but that wasn’t what I was going for when I cut it. Oh well.
That’s too bad you didn’t get to at least keep your pony tails. Many women in transition are looking for shades of silver for scrunchies and extensions. Apparently they are quite hard to find. Your new look is very beautiful and so is your heart for trying to do this.
That would be a great idea Kristi! If I get the chance maybe I’ll keep my own hair and use it as some kind of extension.
Your cute little bob is lovely with your face. Enjoy the lightness as you step into your journey!
Thank you Abby! 🙂
Yes, you do get Karma credits. The thought really does count.
Thanks Gail. I’ll take all of the good karma I can get.
I’m sorry that it didn’t go the way you planned but on the upside you look fantastic! I think this cut makes you look younger.
Thanks Tracy. I’ll take looking younger any day! 🙂
OMG what?!?! That SUCKS! I’m so sorry! But you know what? That bob is GORGEOUS on you, you look radiant! 🙂
Thank you Amanda. I like radiant! 🙂
Actually I think the shorter hair makes you look younger and it’s really cute on you !
Thank you Sherry! I appreciate the compliment.
*@&$! How frickin’ irritating! I’d be PO’ed too! Your hair is gorgeous and lots of women would be thrilled to have it as is obvious from the comments you receive. I think that’s very short-sighted on PBL’s part. Regardless, your bob is fabulous!
Thank you Jen. I’m glad to know I’ve got so many fabulous women in my corner!
I went through chemo 11 years ago (I was 23). When I found out I was going to lose my hair, I SOBBED…hyperventilating sobbing! But, my mom and sister cut it real short (think Pixie cut…from about 1/3 down my back – AT LEAST!), my family all shaved their heads, and we put it (wrapped in seran wrap!) to stuff a bear I got (My hair in the legs because I had to walk the walk… my mom and sister in each arm to hold me and support me…my bro behind the heart because while he wasn’t there in person, he was always in my heart…and stuffing everywhere else… it even came with a teal t-shirt – which teal is the color for the ovarian cancer I was fighting). I lost my hair, but it was much less traumatic because the hair was shorter. And know what? I realized I loved it!!! I was never completely bald…I had a little baby fuzz…and a few strands of gray on the top that REFUSED to give up! I washed my hair with baby shampoo. My shower time dropped dramatically! I am naturally very warm, so I welcomed the coolness (it was during winter)! As the hair grew back, it took about a good 7 or 8 years before I let a non-family member cut my hair… But now? If my hair hits the shoulders, it feels like a mop and needs to be cut! I keep telling people that if my work would allow it, I’d go bald again in a heartbeat!!
My thoughts and prayers with you during this time! Your hair looks adorable now too! 🙂
Oh, Janelle. I’m so sorry.
What a powerful healing totem you bear must have been. I got goose bumps when I read your story. So much love and hope wrapped up in your actions.
I’m so glad you ended up being happier with the shorter hair. It’s amazing what we can get used to isn’t it?
I hope you are fully healed and healthy now. Thank you for sharing your story. ♥♥♥
I am so sorry you had to go throw this that is just not fair you have beautiful hair and I know someone would be happy for it. You will be in my thoughts. My husband just found out he has cancer it is hard for any one I wish I could Say something that would make it all go away. I do know one place that may take your hair it is lockes of love they took my moms and she is quite gray not as pretty as yours but still they may take it hugs
Thank you Quest. Yes, Locks of Love will take gray hair but they sell it to off set some of their manufacturing costs. I’m not sure how I feel about that.
I’m sorry that your husband has cancer. I wish him a safe and complete recovery.
I was told the same thing when I donated my hair both times. I thought about it and was okay with them selling it to offset costs. Everything else has to be paid for somehow. Shame that Pantene didn’t have that option. Big hugs and wishes!
I’m hoping Denise that they do at least sell it. I’d hate to think it will get tossed in the trash. But I’ll probably never know.
Oh my goodness! Will “Locks of Live” take your hair? It seems that one of the organizations would. I am sorry your experience has not been a completely happy one. But, your hair looks cute anyway!
Yes, Cree8tive, they will take the hair but they will sell it.
I’m not sure how I feel about that. Thank you for the compliment! 🙂
Vicki, I am sorry to hear that your intended donation did not work out as you had hoped. I appreciate the information you have enclosed in your blog regarding the criteria and use of donations. My husband is currently growing out his hair in hopes of donating. His is over 5% gray as well. This will prompt us to investigate an alternative method to help those in need. On a lighter note, I really like the bob style, it frames your pretty face so well! Best wishes for a successful surgery and strength to fight whatever may come your way. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Thank you Colette. Yes, indeed. Donate if that is what he wants but just make sure that you are satisfied with what will become of the donation. I’m not sorry I donated it I’m only sorry that the image in my head of how it would be used won’t be what actually happens.
Thank you for the compliment. I appreciate it. ♥